Updated: 20th April 2018

American Horror Story Season 6 Premiere: O.J. Simpson Bangs Marcia Clark

The verrrry mysterious sixth season of American Horror Story finally premiered, revealing a vague plot involving the lost colony of Roanoke andThe Juice shtupping his prosecutor?

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What is the theme of the new American Horror Story?

That was the question that weve been naughtily teased with these last few months, with FX not only keeping nearly every single detail of the sixth installment of the franchise under wraps, from cast to plot to level of Lady Gaga involvement, but purposefully sending fans on wild goose chases for answers, with the network releasing a series of red herring teasers for the new season, which finally began Wednesday night.

Still we had guesses.

Is it about spiders crawling into your spine? Eyeballs that you suck on like Jolly Ranchers? Creepy rural farms where smokestacks billow into perfectly artistic promo spots? Or, as a last-ditch guess mere seconds before the season premiered, does the theme have something to do with the new Mercedes-Benz cars lit by moody-red chandeliers Ryan Murphy was giving away in a sweepstakes?

Are you, winner Miranda W. from Oklahoma, a clue to this years theme of American Horror Story?

No. Turns out this years season is about Marcia Clark porking O.J. Simpson.

Or maybe its about the Blair Witch. Or a Keeping Up With the Kardashians spin on thrills. Based on the just-revealed title, My Roanoke Nightmare, it could be that this season is about my 2005 senior week road trip to the Outer Banks where no one would sell us alcohol and Karen wouldnt speak to Anthony. (#TBT.)

Just kidding. It appears that this new season of American Horror Story is an arguably clever spin on the It Happened to Me re-enactment shows that have swarmed our TV screens on channels like TLC and Investigation Discovery.

After Matt is mugged on the streets of Los Angeles, a trauma that causes Shelby to miscarry their baby, they escape to the woods of Roanoke to re-center, falling in love with a goddamn creepy old mansion that they purchase on a whim and a death wish (clearly they havent seen this show).

The first sign we get that things might be off in the houseand the first butt of the season!comes when Shelby and Matt (Paulson and Gooding Jr., in re-enactment) are making love in their new, dusty, creaky, absolutely-going-to-be-haunted-what-were-you-thinking-buying-it house. Weird croaking sounds interrupt them, and garbage is strewn about outside. Maybe its the rednecks who lost the auction when Matt bought the house, they assume.

Matt goes to travel to work. Shelby goes for a dip in their hot tub. Shit goes down, because duh.

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Cue an anxiety-inducing sequence in which Shelby is assaulted in the water, shot in a simultaneously blunt and artistically withholding manner that recalls the horrifying first attack scene of Jaws.

She thinks shes been attacked by people in old-timey costumes, carrying torches. Everyone thinks shes insane.

Matt has to leave for work again, but being the plot-adhering husband that he is, he installs surveillance cameras and calls his sister, Lee (Porter in confessionals, Bassett in re-enactments), to watch over Shelby while hes gone. Lee was fired from her job as a cop for being a pill addict. She also hates Shelby. Luckily they have a home invasion from 16th century missing persons to bond over.

Yes, while Matt is gone someoneor some peoplesneak into the house, lure Lee and Shelby into the basement, and string Blair Witch-style stick things all over the house while theyre down there trying not to pee themselves.

Shelby freaks and hops into the car and drives away, and, in the scariest moment of the show, accidentally crashes into Kathy Bates. Kathy Bates runs into the woods, apparently unharmed from the crash, luring Shelby behind her and directly to a spooky clearing in the woods where the ground pulses, the cinematographer makes the camera shake in unsettling ways, and the old Roanoke people are there with torches and vaguely bleeding heads.

Cut to black.

What is going on? We still dont know. But we can surmise that this season has something to do with the lost colony of Roanoke. And also haunted houses in the woods. And also Sarah Paulsons fabulous extensions.

In a way, the reality TV handheld approach, for all the mystery of this season, is about the most surprising thing these creators could do with this series. With each successive year, it seemed as if American Horror Story was getting more stylized, arguably to the point of style over substance with last year's gorgeousif narratively thinHotel season.

Aesthetically, this is a complete 180 from that. And, choosing to brand the installment with an Inspired by a True Story chryon, the series is wading into riskybut potentially rewardingreal-life waters, which, to this guy, tends to be far more chilling than the supernatural and easily dismissed. At the very least, its playing fast and loose with Fargos true-crime success.

Its a wonder what FX and Ryan Murphy have managed to do with this series. Here is a franchisea universe, to borrow a word from the comic book realmthat has managed to make fans rabid for tidbits and details, delight in mystery, and obsessively piece together clues as to how all six seasons are related, and do it all off of a brand that is wholly original, with no source material at all.

My Roanoke Nightmare is a fascinating new direction in that mission. Were not sure quite yet if were applauding the new direction; to be quite honest, we found the premiere to be so heavy on explanation that we were slightly bored. But we are on board with the expansion of this universe.

Has Shelby found The Lost Colony? Has American Horror Story lost the plot? As of now, like almost everything to do with American Horror Story Season Six, its still a mystery.

Read more: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/15/american-horror-story-season-6-premiere-o-j-simpson-bangs-marcia-clark.html

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